In Vegas For A While.

"What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas" he tweeted, thereby ensuring that it would not.

I'm a storyteller. Always have been. Going back as far as high school, I always got compliments on my ability to develop a narrative, and as I've kept writing I've gotten better and better at this.

Good stories, to capture someone's interest, need to have conflict or tension. Maybe you're battling evil. Maybe it's a deadline that seems impossible. But "things were generally going well and then they continued to go well, the end" is kinda boring.

I don't like drama. I don't like hurt feelings, and I really don't want to be the one responsible for hurting them. At the same time I want the story of my life to be compelling and interesting and it's really hard to reconcile those goals without indulging in a little bit of self-destructive behaviour, a little bit of being my own worst enemy. I aim to misbehave, but to suggest this is good, or healthy, or smart… is nuts. But people love to watch other people do it. It's glamourized all the time. Let's get drunk and party our faces off and if you don't think that's a good idea, you're probably not going to get invited to many parties because you sound boring.

I'm pretty good at it, too. I throw down karaoke like nobody's business. I'm a pretty good dancer, I'm articulate and funny, and as long as I keep my drinking in check I don't have many bad nights. The thing is, I use this romantic ideal of self-destruction to give myself a pass on a lot of crappy behaviours. Skipping the gym. Eating poorly. No one cheers you on when you're getting a McDonald's poutine the way they do when you're doing body shots, dancing on the bar, and generally acting like a madman. So maybe I need to be the guy who insists on kale at dinner and jager bombs for dessert.

By the way, McDonald's poutine? So bad. I actually like the taste of most of the food on McD's menu, but the poutine is just a flavourless mess.

So I'm off to Vegas for two weeks. It's going to make for a great story, and I'm confident that my various feeds are going to be quite a bit of fun over the next two weeks. Life is generally great, and I'm going to try and focus my more negative impulses into those behaviours which are wildly entertaining and minimally damaging to my mental and physical health.

Bottoms Up!


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